There's no doubt Idiot Love is a powerful concept. The same concept that convinces us that, at some arbitrary point, we'll suddenly meet The One. Even those people who don't believe in the idea that one day the chopping and changing, the trying out for size of romantic partners, will stop dead. And that will be it. Forever.
When your relationship gets to the point where you find yourself watching a DVD, sharing a large bowl of cereal while both checking your iPhones, it's only natural to think about what role love has in a long-term relationship. After all, if the film you're watching is any guide, love is about constant passion, powerful connections between uniquely compatible mates and vast amounts of life-changing sex. In a long-term relationship, the initial passion goes, but is replaced by something else. The question is: by what, and is it enough?
(...) The model suited me well enough, for I was a serious monogamist. Each relationship would begin with a burst of love and end with a vacant, soulless, 'Bye'. But that was partly, I think, because I had bought into the idea of Idiot Love so much I couldn't see that love could also be companionship, amusement at each other and an ability to share space with another person for long periods of time and not wish them to be pulled under a train. I had this idea that Love was gnawing, thin and angular and required both parties to pass long silences in empty pubs during the day because it was just so intense.Therefore, if you're not giving me emotional dysentery, I'm off.
(...) Love does not blossom without tending. You have to make a certain amount of effort so that you enjoy time spent together, because what is love if it's not friendship? And if that sounds like hard work, the pay off is finding out that this other person has thoughts and secrets all of their own, just like you do. The ultimate achievement in a life-long partner is gaining an understanding of another human being. A person that you have the opportunity to understand and to know - nowhere near completely - but as much as it is possible to know another human being."
Revista Elle uk, abril de 2012
When your relationship gets to the point where you find yourself watching a DVD, sharing a large bowl of cereal while both checking your iPhones, it's only natural to think about what role love has in a long-term relationship. After all, if the film you're watching is any guide, love is about constant passion, powerful connections between uniquely compatible mates and vast amounts of life-changing sex. In a long-term relationship, the initial passion goes, but is replaced by something else. The question is: by what, and is it enough?
(...) The model suited me well enough, for I was a serious monogamist. Each relationship would begin with a burst of love and end with a vacant, soulless, 'Bye'. But that was partly, I think, because I had bought into the idea of Idiot Love so much I couldn't see that love could also be companionship, amusement at each other and an ability to share space with another person for long periods of time and not wish them to be pulled under a train. I had this idea that Love was gnawing, thin and angular and required both parties to pass long silences in empty pubs during the day because it was just so intense.Therefore, if you're not giving me emotional dysentery, I'm off.
(...) Love does not blossom without tending. You have to make a certain amount of effort so that you enjoy time spent together, because what is love if it's not friendship? And if that sounds like hard work, the pay off is finding out that this other person has thoughts and secrets all of their own, just like you do. The ultimate achievement in a life-long partner is gaining an understanding of another human being. A person that you have the opportunity to understand and to know - nowhere near completely - but as much as it is possible to know another human being."
Revista Elle uk, abril de 2012
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